I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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