i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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