Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My bed smells like the plague
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
