why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
