Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
