A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
