I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
