So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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