HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
