Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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