I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
