Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
