omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
