Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Rumble strips road head = magical
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize