i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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