Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
