There was a lot of him and a little penis
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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