I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Say something about gay babies.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
