so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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