So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
