what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
