when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
