I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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