I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Randomize
