I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
