No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I will be naked everywhere
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
