Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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