yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
