i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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