therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
