walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
