My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
