Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
