can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
