1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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