If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
