I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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