my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
