Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
