My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
