Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
