I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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