2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
