...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
