I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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