I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
