It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
