Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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