Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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