My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
