But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
